


Let Me Help

by RabidSuicune



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Feelings, First Kiss, M/M, No Beta, P5R Spoilers, POV First Person, Persona 5 Spoilers, Wish Fulfillment, persona 5 royal spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23942443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RabidSuicune/pseuds/RabidSuicune
Summary: Let me help. A hundred years or so from now, I believe, a famous novelist will write a classic using that theme. He'll recommend those three words even over I love you. - Kirk (Star Trek)When I first beat Persona 5 Royal, my emotions were in a dumpster fire of a roller coaster crash.  I couldn't get this fic out of my head so it haunted me till I wrote it. This was suppose to be just my feelings portrayed by the protagonist, and in the end turned into a more wish fulfillment thing. Whoops lol
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 8
Kudos: 62





	Let Me Help

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I apologize in advance for any misspellings or grammatical errors. I have only written a few things in my days so forgive me if it's bad. I wrote this on very little sleep so my poor brain could barely keep up. It might seem a bit disjointed or rushed because of that and I'm sorry again. This was just suppose to be a 1k fic of my overwhelmed feelings about Feb 2. (I literally couldn't stop crying lol) So I wrote this as a way to clear my thoughts on what happened that day ingame and how things would turn out if the protag acted like I had acted IRL. Buuut it became way longer since I ended up continuing since I strayed from the plot a bit. So this is what we got. Sorry for rambling and enjoy! Constructive criticism welcome. (damn you akechi for giving me all these feels ;_; i still love him)
> 
> Edits: fixed misspellings and updated summary

February 2nd. The final day before the heist. 

It was late in the evening when Takuto Maruki had contacted me, just like we expected he would. Ever the considerate one, he decided it would be easiest to meet with me at Leblanc. The usually calm and comfortable atmosphere of the cafe was currently tense and cold. Morgana sat besides me in one of Leblanc's booths, our eyes set on the man sitting across from us. Two cups of still steaming coffee sat untouched between us. To Maruki's right stood the former Detective Prince, Goro Akechi, also gazing at the counselor with an unreadable expression on his face. 

Listening to Maruki speak, his voice ever soft and understanding, had reminded me of the counseling sessions we had back at school. That felt like a lifetime ago, and that couldn’t be further from how it was now, standing at odds with each other as we were. Currently, he just sat there watching me, waiting for my answer, hoping his reasoning would sway me to his side. Always patient. 

It was hard to keep myself from showing any emotion, after the bombshell he just dropped on us. He must have guessed about my feelings for the detective. My only regret was not saving him, my only failure, and Maruki knew it. He had said so himself, and there was no denying it. What had transpired on Shido’s ship had haunted me, tormented me, for many long nights. 

“You two came to a deep understanding of one another...yet you had no choice but to leave Akechi-kun to his fate. That's why I created a reality where you two could have a fresh start together."

"That would mean the Akechi in the real world is...." Morgana trailed off, unable to finish his statement.

"Get what I'm saying?" Maruki looked at me straight in the eyes, smiling sadly.

Akechi had known the truth about his circumstances of course, being highly intelligent and observant. It honestly wasn’t that hard to put together once you thought about it. All my friends had got their wishes, had their families and dreams granted to them. It was easy to see that something was amiss from our outside perspective, but I never stopped to think about if I was also trapped in Maruki’s dream world. I had thought myself above that; To fall for such tricks was beneath me, but it turned out I was the biggest fool of all.

I had been so stupid. Why didn’t I figure it out sooner? It would have made this moment less painful, or at least I would have been more prepared to face it. Maybe I had known deep down inside, but had subconsciously repressed the cruel truth.

"Don't tell me you think dangling my life before us is going to have any impact on our decision.", Akechi stated, easily dismissing Maruki’s notions.

Our decision.

It had been so easy to reject the offer once before, back in Maruki’s palace when we had saved Sumire. But now it was different. Now knowing all this…

I clenched my fist, my fingernails began to bite into my hand, leaving crescent shaped marks in my palm, but I barely registered the stinging pain. Recalling those words Akechi had spoken hurt, since I felt the exact opposite about all this. Maruki had said he didn’t want it to seem as if he was holding the detective hostage, but that’s exactly how it felt. 

There was no negotiating like we would with shadows here though. It was either we fight to return to our proper world, sans Akechi, or to accept the offer and live in a fake world of happiness together as puppets. It was all or nothing and it was tearing me apart inside. I refused to let that show, I have to keep everything bottled up. I couldn't let Maruki or Akechi see the effect all this was having on me. I was the leader, I HAD to be strong, even if I could barely wrap my head around this whole insane situation. 

Was Akechi in the real world truly dead?

Back on that fateful day, I had kept hoping that Futaba’s readings were wrong, just this once. Wished that Akechi had somehow managed to escape the ship and was just laying low somewhere. I refused to give up hope nor forget the promise we had made, his glove he had given to me never leaving my pocket.

Then, on Christmas Eve, my hopes and wishes came true. Akechi had appeared like a phantom, seemingly from nowhere, and all I could think about was how more than one miracle came true that day. I was so happy. 

He was alive! 

But it all came crashing down around me. Now I know it was all just Maruki’s doing. A fake reality perfectly tailored to my wishes, but could I really allow myself to believe that? Or was all this just another attempt to manipulate me? I could only hope that was the case, but if he was indeed telling the truth then...

So many dark emotions were in turmoil within me, anger, denial, and heartache at the forefront. My muscles are straining, trying to keep myself under control. I had to push this all down, at least until this meeting was dealt with. 

But even still, knowing all this, I knew that I couldn't resent Maruki. He had said as much himself; that he felt the same way towards me, only ever expressing gratitude. He hoped so much that I would not fight against him, to just accept his world and all the happiness it offered. He was still waiting on an answer from me. Honestly, It was tempting after what he just told us, but I know better. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, as the saying goes. But then why was I still holding back from answering him? We both knew why, which was exactly why he told me everything in the first place. 

"Perhaps I shouldn't ask for your answer on the spot like that,” Maruki said at last, in my silence. He stood up from his seat, looking at me still. “I'll be going now." 

Before he turned to leave, my eyes locked on his. I held him with my gaze, feeling defiance well up from somewhere deep within me. I reach into an inner pocket in my coat to grab the hidden calling card that my friends had made; The final one they would ever make. 

"This is for you." My voice is smooth and natural, not at all betraying the feelings swirling around in my aching heart. I slide it over to him with a flick of my wrist. It lands easily at the other end of the table. Maruki quietly picks it up and looks it over coolly. 

"Ah, that's right. I've heard your calling." 

I can feel the metaverse respond deep in my soul to the challenge. It is done.

Maruki turns to leave, but stops again and glances back towards me. 

"And about my question, let's do this: I'll be waiting in the palace tomorrow, just as I promised. If you still haven't changed your mind by then, we'll meet there. But if you don't show, I'll take that to mean you've accepted my reality. See you." 

With one final wave goodbye, he calmly walks out the door. The bell chimes cheerfully as always, the only sound left ringing in the quiet cafe. 

Letting out the breath I didn't realize I was holding, I feel like I can breathe again, but the feeling of respite didn't last long. With Maruki gone, the anger and defiance slowly ebbs away, leaving me feeling empty, only a profound sadness left in its wake. 

Sadness and fear; Fear of losing what I hold most dear to me. 

Again. 

My heart wrenches at the mere thought. It would be too much for me to bear.

"What are we gonna do now?" Morgana's voice breaks me out of my spiraling thoughts. He looks at me with his bright blue eyes, waiting for my answer, for my leadership. But at the moment I had neither to offer him. 

With a soft sigh, Akechi speaks up for the first time in a while. 

"I'd like to speak with Akira."

I turned to look at him. The tone of his voice was calm and betrayed nothing, but hearing those words made me seize up in alarm. I wasn't ready to face him yet, if ever. I needed to get my thoughts and feelings under control, and fast!

Morgana turned to look up at him, "Akechi...gotcha." He turned back to me, whispering, "I'll leave the decision to you, Akira. Let me know when you have reached an answer." I was hoping beyond hope they could not see the panic through my eyes.

And with that, Morgana jumped down and trotted silently back up to the attic to wait, leaving me alone with the detective. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. I just pray Akechi cannot hear it in the silence of the cafe.

Steeling myself, I rise from the booth and move to stand next to him, trying to quell all these miserable thoughts storming in my mind. Thoughts of how this might be the last time alone together with Akechi, thoughts of Maruki's offer, and how could this decision have landed squarely on my shoulders? Mine alone? It's beyond difficult; The pressure was taking its toll on me. All my friends said they were behind me 100% but was it really what they truly wanted? So many doubts. But my own selfish ones were the one that rang the loudest. 

Could I really let go of the person I loved? 

When I finally mustered the courage to look at Akechi, I found him looking down towards the empty space of the now vacant booth. I don't have to wait long for him to begin however, his voice low, almost like if he is speaking to himself.

"I will carve my own path for myself."

His will is resolute, full of conviction. There is no doubt in his words. As he continues, his voice becomes steadily stronger.

"I refuse to accept a reality concocted by someone else, stuck under their control for the rest of my days."

I can't help but stare at him, his words hitting me hard. If only I could be strong like him at a time like this. The sorrow and pain in my chest grow heavier. My heart beats even harder, knowing dreadfully well that he knows exactly what this all means. 

"But then you'll..."

I trail off, too weak to finish. I look down to the ground, at anything, except the brunette boy standing in front of me. I couldn't keep this up for much longer, all my emotions were starting to boil over. I could feel the tears start to pool behind my eyes, threatening to fall.

Akechi turns his head towards me, eyes narrowed in anger.

"So what? That's the path I chose. All you have to do is stick to your guns and challenge Maruki."

With my head still bowed low, my hair is covering most of my face, shielding me from view. It’s a small comfort as I feel tears starting to steadily fall. I close my eyes in a vain attempt to stop them. What would he think seeing me like this? Would Akechi even care? I don't have time to think about it for too long before I hear him continue to speak.

"Or are you really so spineless that you'd fold over some bullshit, trivial threat on my life?"

My eyes snap open. Those words made anger flare back up inside me, white hot. 

Unbelievable.

Absolutely ridiculous.

I raise my head up, eyes blazing. 

"Don't speak of your life like it’s worthless! Don't oversimplify this!"

Akechi looks taken aback by my sudden outburst, eyes widening in surprise. I didn't say it overly loud, but in the empty silence around us, it sounded thunderous to our ears. Quickly gathering himself, he snapped back with enough fervor to match my own.

"Oh? But it IS simple! Do you think I'd be happy with this? Being shown mercy now, of all times?"

Akechi looked away, seemingly trying to keep his frustration in check. 

"I don't want to be pitied. This isn't something I'm debating with you. Your indecisiveness on the matter is essentially a betrayal of my wishes." 

Those words dealt me a harsh blow. It was like a slap in the face.

It turns out I was still being the fool; A sleeping slave. But with that I finally received the wake up call that I desperately needed. There was no way I could accept Maruki’s offer after hearing that. Yet even as I feel my resolve harden, I can feel my heart finally break as well.

Shame and embarrassment burn deeply. Here was Akechi, staring death in the face, standing proud and strong, no fear whatsoever. And then there was me.

I had never felt so pathetic in my life.

His eyes lock on mine, and I can see it clearly. His will of rebellion burning brightly below the surface; an inferno. Compared to me, with tears steadily falling, my eyes only hold a small flame, weak but not extinguished. I break the hold his eyes had on me and look away, my fists clenched tightly. I can't bear to look at him any longer. 

After a moment of silence, I hear a small scoff, but it doesn't sound malicious. Akechi's voice is soft when he speaks next. 

"Pull yourself together, Kurusu."

I look back to him slowly, unsure and apprehensive about what I might see in his face. Does he detest me? He probably thinks I'm a pathetic loser for sure, crying over him as if I were one of his old fangirls getting rejected for a date. 

Akechi smirks slightly.

"What has gotten into you? The Joker I know wouldn't let something like this faze him. Has the thought of losing me really flustered you this much?"

I can feel heat slowly rise up my face. I shouldn’t let his teasing get to me. But if he was able to tease me at all while I was like this, then maybe I had a chance to salvage the situation. Quickly I wipe my eyes on my jacket sleeve before looking back at him again.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you. Don’t worry though, I still plan to take on Maruki, no matter what,” I deflected, not ready to admit what he said was right on the mark. Thankfully my answer seemed to satisfy the detective, who nodded once in affirmation. 

“Alright, I’m relieved to hear it. I will never accept this form of reality. I’m done being manipulated.” He paused for a moment, then chuckled to himself, “But I won’t lie, I really thought you might have given in for a bit there, but I’m glad you came to your senses.”

He was smiling at me, not one of his fake TV smiles, nor the malicious smirk he got whenever he destroyed a shadow, but a sincere one. 

“Let’s go back...to our true reality.”

At that moment, Akechi almost seemed to glow, looking even stronger than before, if that was even possible. It filled me with hope seeing his resolve, but the moment soon passed and he turned away from me, speaking softly now.

“What’s a life worth in a reality that was cooked up just to satisfy someone else? I say none. We have to win this, no matter what.”

With that parting statement, Akechi moves to leave, heading for the door now that he heard my answer. Realizing that our final moments alone together were about to end, my heart ached suddenly. Moving without thought, I reached out my hand towards him, panicked.

“Wait!”

The bell sounded loudly. He stopped, his hand still on the handle of the open door. Akechi turned back towards me, slight confusion showing on his face. 

“Was there something else you wanted to discuss?”

I stood there staring, mouth slightly agape. Why did I do this? I let my arm fall back against my side, cursing myself for my impulsive reaction. I had to say something, anything. He was already probably suspicious of my behavior, I didn’t need him to figure out my feelings towards him now; It would only complicate things.

“N-never mind, it was nothing. I’ll see you tomorrow when we all meet up, okay?”

Ugh, how lame could I get? I couldn’t believe myself. I quickly turn away before Akechi has a chance to say something. I moved to go sit back at the booth I occupied previously, facing the bar counter and closed my eyes, feeling a headache starting to form. I just hope he leaves, even though that is the last thing I want, but it’s for the best. I try to convince myself that being in his company any longer will only hurt more in the long run, and to start trying to get over all this.

After a moment, I hear the door close and the bell chime, signaling Akechi’s departure. I sigh softly to myself, slumping down a bit in sorrow. It was for the best, I repeated in my mind. If he figured out my feelings for him, it would probably get me laughed at, called pathetic and soft. Just like when I had attempted to reach out to him before, at Kichijoji last month. And It would be true, sadly. 

Akechi just needed me to do my job: defeating Maruki. Then our deal would end, and that would be that. No more anything. I feel tears building back up again. Once this was all said and done, the world would return to how it should be, for better or for worse, regardless of how I felt.

“You really are torn up about this after all, aren’t you?”

Startled, I nearly jump out of my seat, whirling around, eyes wide. There stood Akechi, watching me from nearby the door, looking amused but also slightly perplexed. I can’t believe it.

He hadn’t left.

In that moment, I felt so conflicted, joy and dread both overtaking me. Joy for him not leaving yet. Dread for having to face him once again with me still being so emotional. But there was also a small fragment of hope within me as well. It kept me grounded. What could I dare hope for at a time like this? I was afraid to find out.

“Akechi, why are you still here?”

“Did you really think I would leave after that display you pulled?”

He started towards me and I instantly stood up. I must have looked as frightened as I felt because he stopped in his tracks and frowned.

“Calm down, you’re acting like an abused mutt, It’s pathetic.”

I bite my bottom lip and look away. He’s right, I needed to calm down. Isn’t this what I secretly wanted anyways? I needed to realize that this was it, our last night before the final showdown. Our last moments of peace. One of my last memories of us...I mentally slapped myself, steeling my nerves. This is it, no more hiding and no more regrets. Taking a deep breath, I looked back up, meeting his gaze evenly. With my mind and breathing being better controlled, I feel myself start to relax slowly. Whatever happens, happens. I might as well sit back and try to enjoy this crazy ride. 

“I’m sorry, it’s just been a long night. Go ahead and sit down, I’ll serve us some coffee.”

I moved behind the counter, falling back on the familiar routine, while Akechi after a bit of hesitation, sat down in his usual chair, settling in. This feeling of normalcy was nice. Maybe if I imagined hard enough, I could pretend everything was how it used to be, back before Sae’s and Shido’s Palaces. While getting cups and pouring out the coffee I had prepared earlier, I realized that no, there was no need to pretend. How we are, here and now, that was more than enough for me. We might not be the same as we were back then, especially this blunt, more rough around the edges Akechi, but I wouldn’t have this any other way.

I set the cups down in front of us, and we let the coffee cool down a tad. After a bit, Akechi brought his cup up slowly, taking a small sip before setting it back down. He savored the flavor for a moment before speaking.

“Thanks. It’s been some time, hasn’t it? It’s just as good as I remember.”

I hum in response, a small smile gently stretching across my lips. We sit in somewhat amicable silence, enjoying the coffee, and letting the days of memories long past sweep us away. The atmosphere of the cafe is comfortable now, and the coffee helps to ward against the cold winter evening. 

After finishing his drink, Akechi sets his cup down and sits there, seemingly lost in thought. When he brings his focus back to me, his face becomes serious and guarded. I set my cup down, sensing what he was going to say next was important. There would never be another chance, so I might as well take this leap of faith. Wherever this lead, I was ready. 

“About what happened earlier, care to explain what was going on with you? I have my assumptions, but I want to hear it from you.”

I wasn’t surprised about him asking about that, but I just hope I don’t upset him with my answer.

“I’m going to be honest. I...I just couldn’t stand the thought of losing you again. It’s that simple. I let Maruki get to me, which was stupid, but I couldn’t help it.” 

Akechi narrowed his eyes at my answer, visibly tensing up. 

“But why? Why do you care so much about me? I’m not one of your lame friends, and yet you are still so desperate to help me, even back then. I don’t understand. Why would you want someone like me to live? Someone with no future. Someone who tried to kill you.”

Akechi’s voice was harsh, more aggressive with each sentence that passed through his lips; His eyes shining with unfiltered emotion. These were questions he had asked himself many times before and always failed to find a suitable answer to, it seemed. He continued, speaking quieter but no less intensely.

“I just don’t get you. I didn’t back then and I still don’t right now. So if you would be so kind, please, enlighten me.”

The last words were almost a sneer, scowl marring his handsome features, and I simply looked back at him, surprisingly calm. I sigh softly, resigning myself. I needed to explain myself fully.

“Look, I know you don’t consider us friends, and that’s okay, but that doesn’t change how I feel about you. And I know very well that you tried to kill me, you almost succeeded. I’m glad we were able to stop you-” Akechi scoffs, turning away vehemently. “But as far as I’m concerned, you have already atoned for that, back on Shido’s ship. Even now, when we had infiltrated Maruki’s palace on our own, you had saved my life many times. I know you are only helping me since our goals are the same, but that still says something about you as a person. You aren’t irredeemable.”

I paused for a moment, trying to assess the detective’s response so far, but he continued to pointedly not look at me, waiting for me to finish. He at least seemed to have calmed down a bit, quietly listening to what I had to say. I look down to the empty cups sitting on the counter in front of us, before continuing on.

“You may be right when you say you have no future, considering the circumstances, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to have one at all. If I had the power to grant any one wish, it would be for you to have a future, to be free to live your life the way you want. I would only hope that I would still be a part of it.”

I slowly look back up, and find Akechi staring at me, eyes wide and mouth hanging open, looking rather disconcerted. 

“What you are saying?” Akechi's voice is low, sounding utterly disbelieving.

I feel my heartbeat picking up again, my pulse beginning to race. The moment of truth was getting ever closer. With all this said, it was too late for me back out now, so I just had to push on.

“You are the reason why I was seriously considering Maruki’s offer. I wanted to be selfish for once, just to spend the rest of my days with you, even in faux happiness. At least we would be together, right? But I knew you would hate me if I accepted that, so I didn’t, no matter how much it hurts me. I know this might sound strange to you, me saying all this, but ever since we first met I knew there was something different about you. We have only known each other for a few short months, but I knew after spending so much time together, that there was no one else who made me feel the same way you did. Akechi, I..I lo-. ”

“Hold on!” Akechi interrupted suddenly, standing up. “Stop right there, don’t say another word.” He looked furious, fists clenched tightly. “Do you take me for a fool? Do you honestly think I believe all this drivel? Ridiculous. I refuse to think of anything you just said as true.” 

Akechi watched me, still seething and breathing heavily, waiting for me to respond, to try and object, but I just looked at him, stunned into silence by his outburst. As the moment stretched on, he realized I wasn’t going to speak, still in a state of shock. With his anger slowly dying down, he finally relented.

“If what you say really is true, then you truly are a fool.”

He said this quietly, almost as if resigning himself. I was so confused, I expected more outrage or disgust, but this cold dismissal had been so much worse. This whole situation felt surreal, like a dream. 

“What do you mean? Why would you say that?!”

I felt so disheartened. I could feel a cold grip around my heart, slowly overtaking my whole being. Maybe this had been a mistake after all…

Akechi just quietly laughed, shaking his head, then quickly turned back to sneering at me.

“Don’t ask stupid shit as if you don’t know. Don’t you know who you are talking to or are you blind? You say all these pretty words but that can’t be right. After all, you are talking to a killer. Only a fool would feel that way towards me.” As he finished that last statement, a look of pain and sadness flashed over his features before being quickly concealed, turning back to resentment. “A feral beast such as myself deserves nothing good, especially not love. Haven’t you seen the way your teammates look at me? Their eyes hold nothing but fear and contempt, as they should. They haven’t forgotten what I’ve done to them. They try to keep their distance because they understand that I’m dangerous and not to be trusted. You need to start understanding that as well, for your sake.”

Akechi stood there silently now, breathing still a bit labored from such a heated speech. A heavy silence settled in the cafe then, the only sound I could hear was his breathing and my heart beating loudly in my ears. Akechi was quiet and reserved now, trying to be distant, but I could see in his eyes a faint sadness he couldn’t quite hide from me. It made him look vulnerable and so terribly alone. 

I removed my apron, slow and deliberate, not breaking eye contact. I haphazardly threw the half-folded cloth on the counter then began to make my way out from behind the counter. I could see the detective visibly tense at this, and I stopped at the edge of the bar. We both stood on opposite sides of the aisle, regarding each other. 

After ascertaining that Akechi wouldn’t run away, I finally spoke up.

“I would rather be blind fool than take back what I said. I meant every word and listening to you say such horrible things about yourself, that is just too much.” I clench my fists, feeling so many emotions starting to rise. “You might not think yourself worthy of love, but that's not true. If anything, it means you deserve it more!” I slowly approach the brunette boy, who is watching me with eyes wide in disbelief at my determination. “I don’t care about what my friends, or what anyone thinks of you. The only ones that matter right now are you and me. So please,” I pause, a bit of nervousness slipping back into my voice, “if you’ll have me, then I..I’m willing to…” I trail off, stopping right in front of him. 

I feel tears starting to form again, too much emotion within me to keep in check. I look directly into his eyes, hoping he could see my sincerity, pleading he understood what I couldn’t convey with words alone. If he didn’t feel the same way towards me then that was okay. Just as long as he understood that no matter the reason, be it him, his past and anything else he viewed negatively about himself, I would never stop loving him.

Akechi just stared the entire time, awestruck. Maybe I had been a bit too strong in my confession but I had to get my message through to him. After about what was probably only a minute, though it had felt quite a bit longer, Akechi finally reacted, though it wasn’t what I expected. He just laughed, sadly and to himself, shaking his head. 

“I was right. I don’t think I’ll ever understand you, Akira.” His eyes locked on mine, crimson and grey, both shining with unshed tears. “Your love is wasted on a dead man. Surely you know this, yet I can’t find it in myself to turn you away. I suppose this means we are indeed both fools.” He sighed softly, looking away from me, almost shyly. “Back then, I felt the same way for you, I think. But I was so hell bent on revenge, I didn’t allow myself a chance to explore those feelings. I was afraid if I got too close to you I would falter, fail in my life’s only mission. I let envy and hatred rule me instead. Maybe if I hadn't been such a coward then...no, there is no point in dwelling on what if’s.” 

Akechi looked back at me, looking a bit bashful, and I am pretty sure I look no different. “I had buried all those feelings away for so long. When I heard you saying all these things, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I still don’t think I deserve any of this but I am on borrowed time. Just this once, I’ll allow myself to indulge in this, in you.”

I could no longer hold myself back. I pulled the detective in a sudden embrace, my face buried in the crook of his neck. I held on to him tightly, as if the moment I released him he would fade away, like a puff of smoke. He instinctively tensed up, not used to such contact from anyone, maybe ever in his life; The thought made my heart wrench. I held on a bit more roughly, my fingers gripping on to the material of Akechi’s jacket. We stood there for a moment, until hesitantly, I could feel his arms slowly wrap around me, holding me almost too gently, as if handling fragile glass. I eased up on my grip, relaxing now that we had calmed a bit. I took a deep breath, the smell of some nondescript shampoo overtaking me, as I committed it to memory. 

Yes, a memory was the only thing that would remain with me. I grimace at my unbidden thought, feeling myself clench my fists again. Akechi seemed to have felt it, because he pushed me a bit away, so that he could look at my face, see what was going on with me. My eyes must have been an easy read, maybe revealing he was having similar thoughts as well.

“Don’t dwell on things that we cannot change, it will only sour the moment. I have accepted my death a long time ago, before I ever even met you, so I know a thing or two about how to distract yourself from such thoughts. You have to focus on the here and now, not tomorrow or some unforeseen future. Just what you have in front of you.”

Even now, Akechi was still the one to stand strong, consoling me instead of the other way around, like I was accustomed to when helping my friends. But maybe right now, on this special night, I’ll let myself be vulnerable, and take comfort in the other boys warm embrace. 

“Goro..” I was still afraid. With what we finally had, everything I had ever wanted, to be taken from me so soon after. It just wasn’t fair.

Life was nothing but suffering.

Here came the tears once again. I was tired of crying, but this was the last time I would allow myself. I lowered my gaze, “Thank you, for indulging a fool like me, and for trying to make me feel better. I will try to not think about what happens tomorrow. I’m confident we will win our battle, but what comes after is so much harder to ignore.I don’t think I can do it.” 

Akechi brings his left hand up and places it against my face softly, brushing away a stray tear with his thumb. I meet his eyes again, seeing many emotions also swirling within those crimson depths. He moves in closer to me, face inches from mine, and I feel my heartbeat skyrocket. He whispers gently, his breath ghosting over me.

“Let me help.”

He moves in slowly, his lips capturing my own. I instantly melt into him, my arms wrapping tightly against him. I feel his other hand pull me by my waist, positioning us flush against each other. 

This was better than I had ever imagined.

I move to deepen the kiss, tilting my head slightly and grabbing his hair a bit roughly. He doesn’t seem to mind as he does the same thing to me, wrestling back control as the lead. Even now we won’t let the other win that easily, our competitive nature making an appearance. Some things never change.

We were interrupted by a small chime, a phone vibrating on the nearby counter. We separate and catch our breaths, both staring at the offending item. It must have been a text from my companions, probably inquiring about the meeting with Maruki. We both notice the time displayed on the brightly lit screen. It was pretty late and soon the trains were going to stop running. I turned back to Goro, who was in turn watching me. We both understood it was time to part ways. 

“It’s almost time for me to go,” Akechi said sadly, slowly releasing me from his hold. I missed the warmth he gave instantly. I look at him, eyes pleading. I couldn’t just ask him out loud but he understood what I desperately wanted to say. 

He sighed, knowing well that both of us didn’t want to part just yet, either.

“I’ll stay, if you’ll have me.”

At hearing those words, I instantly jumped back into his arms, crushing him with a bear hug. I had never felt this happy before, such elation making me feel as if I could fly. After a few seconds, I can feel the squirming detective trying to release himself from my hold, so I comply.  
He scoffs at me, looking away, trying to hide a blush spreading up his neck. 

“You’re such a child.” His words hold no real anger. I just laugh, happy and as carefree as I could with our circumstances. The deadline is approaching as steadily as ever. But for now I put that out of mind as best I could. I take hold of his hand and gesture up the stairs to the attic. 

“Don’t worry about Morgana, he can go and sleep at Futaba’s since I doubt he wants to intrude. I’m sure he heard everything.” I chuckle lightly at that. Goro smiles at me as well, allowing himself to be led up, hand gripping mine tightly.

Morgana had decided to leave, just as I imagined, leaving us alone in my room. There wasn’t much time left to spend to ourselves, but I resolved to show him as much love and kindness as I could in our precious time together. It wouldn’t make up for all the years of loneliness and pain Goro Akechi had endured, but hopefully it would be enough to forget, at least for a moment, our last night together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading <3


End file.
